Pox Romana

In solidarity with its brethren in the Judeo-Christian-Islamic three-headed religious movement, the Society for the Betterment of Flying Spaghetti Monsters declared the cover of AARP Magazine an abomination and excommunicated all editors of the magazine from SBFSM:

AARP-magazine-cover-2014-Dec

The magazine editors, in defiance, promised to put more actors on the cover and publish even less information relevant to the lives of ordinary retired persons, in hopes of finally reaching their dreams of emulating People, US, USA Weekend and Parade magazines in the US, as well as the Sun and the Daily Mirror in the UK, and all tabloid newspapers in general, in homage to News of the World, their defunct sister publication.

Now, back to life on Mars…

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When writing’s your thing, with words for the new year you ring

Whilst Americans wrestle with their global identity (and by Americans, we know we mean peoples on, of, or relating to the North American continent, regardless of their origin story), the rest of the world picks its own arbitrary starting point for a cycle of our home planet around its host star.

Here, we say this is the last day of the year and tomorrow the first day of the next year, commonly called 2015 in this instance.

For my new colleagues in the lifesaving business, I give the ones working closest to me and a few who did not receive fudge made by my wife a copy of a book I wrote about a set of colleagues with whom we listened to customers, discussed features both old and new, [re]designed, manufactured and supported the release of computer gear (KVM switches, mainly), “Are You With The Program?“:

are you with the program book cover

Perhaps, one day, maybe, if the notion hits me, I might, if perchance one day I write more than dream, record the actions of my new colleagues in novel-length form, if I haven’t begun so already. 😉

If, and, or but…

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The next revolution of Earth will bring us new seasons, new weather patterns and new ideas.

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Have you overcome the concepts of conscious and subconscious conscientiously?

A wren calls out in the backyard at 0630 this morning, making danger calls likes the ones it calls out when I open the garage door and walk out on the driveway.

Without my hearing aids, I would no longer hear the frequencies of its warbling.

I have learned from today’s experience of bird voices but I want to learn more.

And after learning, then what?

PLAN/DO/CHECK/ACT?

Do-be, do-be, do?

Those who can’t teach, act?

To know is to do/act?

To be is to do?

As a child, I learned to stop asking my parents “why?” all the time, because why I can’t remember.  I knew not to ask other adults because I often knew the answer before I asked and discovered that many adults feigned knowledge but basically lied or diverted attention from the facts to hide their ignorance rather than say “I don’t know” or “Good question!  Why don’t you look it up in a dictionary/encyclopedia and find out for yourself?”, although some adults, including my parents, pointed me to reference material, including nature itself, for answers.

A number/percentage of children don’t/didn’t have the luxury of helpful parents/adults or reference material and I will point them in the direction of my sister and her friends more suited to parenting/nurturing roles than I who provide such things as backpacks filled with food and other useful means to guide children without a [locally] socially-defined safety net for nurturing future adults/leaders/followers.

Today, my thoughts wander as I wake up in preparation for a workday of helping save lives.

I have on the periphery of my cloudy neurochemical neuronic firings the hint I will learn some thing/idea of relative importance, to/for whom/what, I cannot say.

I ask myself why and do not yet receive a reply.

I try to avoid platitudes and concepts upon which I could rely for quick answers to general questions at this time.

I could, for instance, turn to the comforting plateau of nothingness, a blank plain, devoid of sun, wind, and/or objects of any kind, neither dark nor light, in which I erase the advert-like memes that pop up from daily exposure to members of my set of states of energy (i.e., species) and relax uninterrupted for immeasurable units of time.

But that, too, is an artificial construct which does not exist.

Instead, I am surrounded by trees, bacteria, insects, fungus, algae, plastic, paper, cloth, furniture, electrical wiring and words printed on material that identify objects, advertising their purchasable purposes.

It is in reality that I live.  I desire to live in this moment, not ignore it as I ponder other moments that we identify as past and future for placement of the set of states of energy I hesitantly but happily will identify as my older self in another setting with other objects, perhaps on another planet.

From that last statement, I mentally prepare to save/post this blog entry, close down the laptop computer and finish getting ready to drive to my new workplace, interact with fellow employees and help to save lives.

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Kids shaking gift packages all over America are causing bridge tremors?

Just when you thought it was safe to celebrate the holidays with family, along comes another “vague threat” from Grinch’s minions — encouraging kids to shake gift packages as vigorously as they can in order to tear bridges apart?!:

Kingsport-Times-News-2014-12-24-Memphis-bridge-threat

For those who don’t remember the last time such an event occurred, click here for video proof of the unified power of children’s curiosity, led by an anonymous person named Gale:

TacomaNarrowsBridgeCollapse_in_color

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM ALL OF US HERE AT THE CENTER FOR INVESTIGATIVE HUMOUR, WHERE SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY MEET ON A BLIND DATE, FALL IN LOVE, HAVE CHILDREN, LIVE TO OLD AGE AND FORGET THE SECRETS OF LIFE THEY DISCOVERED ALONG THE WAY, ENDING UP SHOUTING IN ROMANTIC TEXTS TO ONE ANOTHER WHILE SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER ON A SOFA IN AN OLD FOLKS HOME, HAPPILY OBLIVIOUS ABOUT MAJOR WORLD EVENTS, WISHING THE SAME GOOD FORTUNE FOR THEIR GRANDCHILDREN ON MARS, IF THEY’D ONLY COME VISIT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE — IS IT SO FAR TO TRAVEL FROM MARS TO EARTH THAT THE KIDS CAN’T MAKE A TRIP HOME ONCE A YEAR?

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200 Marsyears Later…

The measure of interchanging sets of states of energy — time — on scales separated logarithmically…

These words written in your language, your dialect, of your time…

A virtual time capsule of thoughts and ideas…

What do 400 of your Earth years mean in this moment?

Can you trace your family, your subculture, your culture, your species and that of your symbiotic microorganisms back 400 years?

What about the hawk watching a field mouse from the perspective of a telephone pole crossbeam?

We cannot help but believe our species should be the primary ones to explore the solar system and send messages out into the galaxy.

Should we?

What if only a bacterium can communicate with and understand messages from the universe?

Are we not simply a complex transportation device for bacteria?

Imagine, for entertainment’s sake, that we understood a long time ago we are the ultimate bacteria carrying case and have been spinning our wheels ever since then, attempting to make ourselves more important than our passengers.

What if, from our perspective, we have fought each other for millennia to get to our final destination in order to control the tallest peak we can see and all the territory around it, only to find its the top of an anthill at the base of Mt. Kilimanjaro?

Today’s news headlines from the perspective of life on Mars 200 marsyears from now make me feel that way.

News cycles that repeat themselves like ocean waves crashing on a beach, drowning out our individual thoughts…

How many of us live and die within the narrow confines of repetitive social cycles?

What separates parents who teach their children to obsess over celebrity cults from those who don’t?

What distinguishes us as members of the ownership of the means of economic production versus those who are, loosely speaking, “owned” versus those who are hybrids of the two sets?

To wander this planet, observing the variety of ways that sets of states of energy, from single-celled organisms to multi-celled organisms, interact with each other, and wonder why we haven’t directly announced evidence of similar interactions on other celestial bodies while the organisation of celestial bodies themselves — planets, stars, asteroids, galaxies and galaxy clusters — stares us in the face…

History of the future and the future of history are not dead — sets of states of energy keep combining regardless of our desire to be involved or to [think we] have control of the processes at the local level.

We have much to learn, much to teach and much to remind ourselves we already know.

Today’s Sunday meditation on thoughts to/from the self is brought to you by solar power — we wouldn’t be here were it not for the Sun. 😉

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Holidaze

Every word posted here sends ripples through the local manifestation of the universe.

The energy associated with the ripples will, according to observable data and scientific hypotheses, slowly dissipate — atoms/molecules bumping into each other, their subatomic particlewaves sharing the energy until it has split into enough shares that the dilution has rendered the original stream of energy into background noise, the pink slime of aethereal ephemera.

Growing up in family traditions, one decides (if one has any actual belief/action in free will) whether to reenergize the traditions for passing on to the atoms/molecules/people/subcultures around oneself.

In the Northern Hemisphere, when our planet approaches a certain place in orbit, we traditionally invoke images of both snowy fields and dry deserts while talking about Santa Claus and the birth of a relatively obscure infant of desert tribe lineage.

Some people counter these images with their own newly-founded traditions such as the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

What do we want in life?

Do we desire happy, healthy social connections?

Since no one is an island, dependent on the surrounding environment for sustenance in one way or another, on what do we replenish our energy sources?

If the source of much of one’s childhood centered on the teachings of text with contradictory information, allowing those wisest amongst us to pick and choose which portions of the text are relevant for today’s receptive pupils, should one pick and choose how to reinterpret the text for personal edification/gratification?

If one’s personality leads one to live a happy, healthy life with a tendency to be kind to others, can we say which came first, one’s innate personality traits of “goodness” or one’s immersion in a family tradition that removed “bad” habits and replaced them with good ones?

This morning, when densely-packed water droplets moving en masse through the sky blocks the direct rays of our local star, giving a bluish-gray hue as background light, the origin of our universe or ourselves as a created/evolved species is not nearly as important as how one chooses to treat others as moral/ethical equals until proven otherwise.

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Rainy Roof Days

Sitting in front of this electronic typewriter, letting thoughts drift while rivulets of water create new courses, coarsely, around the small ridges of new architectural shingles on their way to the edge of the roof where nearly laminar waterfalls splatter, scatter, matter and mass rearranged randomly.

Today a pause, a reflection on two weeks (only two weeks?) in a new job, playing the part of the middle-of-the-road student, not the arrogant know-it-all of times past, letting the instructors repeat answers or look puzzled when questions out-of-the-blue are tossed out like hockey pucks at an osteogenesis imperfecta gathering.

How many industries does one get to know in a single lifetime?

How many different careers?

The healthcare industry is the oldest in existence.  After all, until recent healthcare technological advances changed where, every one of us are born from a womb — as mammals, we care for the health of our newborn babies from birth.

Life itself is healthcare.

But terminology, whether Latin-based or spun out of native languages, changes from industry to industry.

Healthcare practitioners excel at jargon creation without exception.

So does the IT industry, the space exploration industry, food services industry, ad infinitum, ad nauseum, in museums, the advert business and living history.

Starting over as a two-year old in the second fifty years of life, stepping onto the bottom rung as a grunt in healthcare, one wonders about the future while memorising new words, phrases, policies and procedures.

Is a master’s degree in healthcare management or public health a viable investment in one’s future?

From whence shall the investment funds materialise?

Working for a nonprofit company, one finds funding for employee education is limited to OTJ (on the job) training, especially for hourly workers.

Shall one dip into one’s retirement savings?

Apply for financial aid?  Scholarships?

Time to listen to the rain and relax.

The rhythm of the rain will reveal the melody of the universe that shows which path is worth taking for one’s good health.

Already, eight pounds (3.63 liters) have been lost in just two weeks while working at a job that requires a lot of standing and lifting.

The past two weeks have enlightened one’s spacetime horizon.

The future is bright!

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Looking like my father, not quite thinking like him

After the third day on the job, what have I learned?

I remember when I taught for three semesters at ITT Tech, I quizzed students about their learning styles:

multiple-intelligences-infographic

The students were often amazed at the discovery of what they suspected all along about themselves but could never quite articulate — they did not perform well on tests after studying the material the “wrong” way for their [primary] learning styles.

I am what is sometimes labeled an adult learner, meaning I have two or more high school student lifetimes accumulated in my thoughts as arranged in my set of perpetually-changing states of energy.

Perhaps I am wise.  However, I claim no such designation for my thought set.

Instead, I have learned to listen to the sets of selves that morphed into me in this moment — the teenager, the college student, the young adult, the 30-something, the near middle-ager, the middle-ager and beyond.

I can observe the people around me and know they will have general age-related classifications of thoughts.

I can observe people, listen to their stories, and know their backgrounds lead to certain thought patterns.

From these observations, I know that retaining their attention which aids in my absorbing new material while applying the best learning style is easier as I get older.

As I mentioned to my wife at dinner tonight, in most of my adult jobs, I have mapped out the major job functions of my fellow employees, which was also part of my job at the time:

  • in my early 20s I was a schedule analyst at GE, which meant I had to know not only the DoD specs of the U.S. Navy contract we were working on, but also what the employees of every department were doing to meet deliverable dates;
  • in my 30s I was a data analyst and internal ISO 9000 auditor for ADS Environmental Services, which meant I not only had to know how our sewer flow monitoring equipment worked but also the functions of every department in the company;
  • in my 40s I was the coordinator of the engineering level technical support for Avocent Corporation, which meant I had to know how to quickly resolve customer problems by coordinating the activities of the Marketing, Engineering and Manufacturing departments (often with approval from upper management) to get product changes turned around in time to meet customer demands.

In my new job, I find myself proactively encouraged to know all about the whole company because we are one big team which depends on every employee to meet or exceed customer expectations.

To increase this knowledge I have applied various learning styles including everything but music in the graphic above.

There’s nothing like working for a company that wants its employees to take teamwork to heart.

Especially one that would host a holiday party for a whole division of the company as an end-of-year thank you and relaxing get-together.

Having sat at home, worked in the yard or enjoyed the great outdoors mainly by myself for the last seven years (spending many hours each day in the company of two cats), I had forgotten the joys and sorrows of office camaraderie, where working together also means talking about personality fits and conflicts on a daily basis.

At my age, talking about the strengths and weaknesses of fellow employees is not as important as acting upon their strengths to improve the company and figuring out ways to turn [perceived] weaknesses into bonus strengths to make the company better in ways not yet conceived.

There is no such thing as the perfect human or a person who is the perfect fit for a job.

We constantly change.

As a new employee of a nonprofit, lean, just-in-time /manufacturer in the healthcare business, my only focus is how to save more lives with the people, budget and resources we have on-hand through the job skills I am acquiring.

The six rules of business I learned from Neutron Jack at GE in the 1980s still work today:

1) Control your own destiny or someone else will.
2) Face reality as it is, not as it was or as you wish it were.
3) Be candid with everyone.
4) Don’t manage, lead.
5) Change before you have to.
6) If you don’t have a competitive advantage, don’t compete.

Jack’s not the only one with good advice.  Warren Buffett has a word or two to add about this matter:

1. Keep calm in the face of volatility. Buffett writes that earnings gyrations “don’t bother us in the least.” After all, “Charlie and I would much rather earn a lumpy 15 percent over time than a smooth 12 percent.”

2. Keep good company. Berkshire has never split its Class A shares. As a result, one share currently costs almost $214,000. That discouraged people from rapidly moving into and out of the stock, and that’s exactly the way Buffett likes it. He wants shareholders who share his long-term view. All the way back in 1979, he wrote, “In large part, companies obtain the shareholder constituency that they seek and deserve. If they focus their thinking and communications on short-term results or short-term stock market consequences, they will, in large part, attract shareholders who focus on the same factors.”

3. Keep your focus. In that same letter, Buffett warns that even a great company can see its “value stagnate in the presence of hubris or of boredom that caused the attention of managers to wander.” The result: a “sidetracked” leadership that “neglects its wonderful base business while purchasing other businesses that are so-so or worse.” In this area, Buffett argues that “inactivity strikes us as intelligent behavior.” In 1982, a year that saw a number of corporate deals, Buffett thought that in many of them, “managerial intellect wilted in competition with managerial adrenaline. The thrill of the chase blinded the pursuers to the consequences of the catch.”

4. Keep costs low. In his 1996 letter, Buffett wrote that being a “low-cost operator” is directly responsible for the success of Berkshire’s GEICO auto insurance subsidiary. “Low costs permit low prices, and low prices attract and retain good policyholders.” And when those customers recommend GEICO to their friends, the company gets an “enormous savings in acquisition expenses, and that makes our costs still lower.”

5. Keep employee incentives simple. Buffett doesn’t like what he calls “lottery ticket” arrangements, such as stock options, in which the ultimate value could range from “zero to huge” and is “totally out of the control of the person whose behavior we would like to affect.” Instead, goals should be “tailored to the economics” of the business, simple and measurable, and “directly related to the daily activities of plan participants.”

6. Keep out of trouble. Buffett tries to “reverse engineer” the future at Berkshire. “If we can’t tolerate a possible consequence, remote though it may be, we steer clear of planting its seeds.” (Buffett notes that his partner Charlie Munger often says, “All I want to know is where I’m going to die so I’ll never go there.”)

7. Keep your undervalued stock to yourself. Buffett is especially critical of a company using its stock to make a purchase when that stock isn’t being fully valued by the market. “Under such circumstances, a marvelous business purchased at a fair sales price becomes a terrible buy. For gold valued as gold cannot be purchased intelligently through the utilitization of gold—or even silver—valued as lead.”

8. Keep it small. In 2006, Buffett wrote that he’s skeptical “about the ability of big entities of any type to function well.” In his opinion, “size seems to make many organizations slow-thinking, resistant to change and smug.” That’s one reason Berkshire’s corporate headquarters still has only a handful of employees, with almost all the managing work left to its unit’s managers. “It is a real pleasure to work with managers who enjoy coming to work each morning and, once there, instinctively and unerringly think like owners.”

9. Keep your reputation. In Buffett’s mind, perhaps the most important piece of advice for businesses, and for everyone else, is to maintain a sterling reputation for honesty by never doing something you wouldn’t want to see reported on the front page of your local newspaper. After taking control of Salomon in the wake of a major 1991 scandal at the financial firm, he famously told a Congressional panel that he had a simple message for employees: “Lose money for the firm and I will be understanding; lose a shred of reputation for the firm and I will be ruthless.”

As he put it in one of his most-often quoted sayings: “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.”

Also:

Here are some of Warren Buffett’s money-making secrets — and how they could work for you.

1. Reinvest Your Profits: When you first make money in the stock market, you may be tempted to spend it. Don’t. Instead, reinvest the profits. Warren Buffett learned this early on. In high school, he and a pal bought a pinball machine to put in a barbershop. With the money they earned, they bought more machines until they had eight in different shops. When the friends sold the venture, Warren Buffett used the proceeds to buy stocks and to start another small business. By age 26, he’d amassed $174,000 — or $1.4 million in today’s money. Even a small sum can turn into great wealth.

2. Be Willing To Be Different: Don’t base your decisions upon what everyone is saying or doing. When Warren Buffett began managing money in 1956 with $100,000 cobbled together from a handful of investors, he was dubbed an oddball. He worked in Omaha, not Wall Street, and he refused to tell his parents where he was putting their money. People predicted that he’d fail, but when he closed his partnership 14 years later, it was worth more than $100 million. Instead of following the crowd, he looked for undervalued investments and ended up vastly beating the market average every single year. To Warren Buffett, the average is just that — what everybody else is doing. to be above average, you need to measure yourself by what he calls the Inner Scorecard, judging yourself by your own standards and not the world’s.

3. Never Suck Your Thumb: Gather in advance any information you need to make a decision, and ask a friend or relative to make sure that you stick to a deadline. Warren Buffett prides himself on swiftly making up his mind and acting on it. He calls any unnecessary sitting and thinking “thumb sucking.” When people offer him a business or an investment, he says, “I won’t talk unless they bring me a price.” He gives them an answer on the spot.

4. Spell Out The Deal Before You Start: Your bargaining leverage is always greatest before you begin a job — that’s when you have something to offer that the other party wants. Warren Buffett learned this lesson the hard way as a kid, when his grandfather Ernest hired him and a friend to dig out the family grocery store after a blizzard. The boys spent five hours shoveling until they could barely straighten their frozen hands. Afterward, his grandfather gave the pair less than 90 cents to split. Warren Buffett was horrified that he performed such backbreaking work only to earn pennies an hour. Always nail down the specifics of a deal in advance — even with your friends and relatives.

5. Watch Small Expenses: Warren Buffett invests in businesses run by managers who obsess over the tiniest costs. He one acquired a company whose owner counted the sheets in rolls of 500-sheet toilet paper to see if he was being cheated (he was). He also admired a friend who painted only on the side of his office building that faced the road. Exercising vigilance over every expense can make your profits — and your paycheck — go much further.


6. Limit What You Borrow: Living on credit cards and loans won’t make you rich. Warren Buffett has never borrowed a significant amount — not to invest, not for a mortgage. He has gotten many heart-rendering letters from people who thought their borrowing was manageable but became overwhelmed by debt. His advice: Negotiate with creditors to pay what you can. Then, when you’re debt-free, work on saving some money that you can use to invest.

7. Be Persistent: With tenacity and ingenuity, you can win against a more established competitor. Warren Buffett acquired the Nebraska Furniture Mart in 1983 because he liked the way its founder, Rose Blumkin, did business. A Russian immigrant, she built the mart from a pawnshop into the largest furniture store in North America. Her strategy was to undersell the big shots, and she was a merciless negotiator. To Warren Buffett, Rose embodied the unwavering courage that makes a winner out of an underdog.

8. Know When To Quit: Once, when Warren Buffett was a teen, he went to the racetrack. He bet on a race and lost. To recoup his funds, he bet on another race. He lost again, leaving him with close to nothing. He felt sick — he had squandered nearly a week’s earnings. Warren Buffett never repeated that mistake. Know when to walk away from a loss, and don’t let anxiety fool you into trying again.

9. Assess The Risk: In 1995, the employer of Warren Buffett’s son, Howie, was accused by the FBI of price-fixing. Warren Buffett advised Howie to imagine the worst-and-bast-case scenarios if he stayed with the company. His son quickly realized that the risks of staying far outweighed any potential gains, and he quit the next day. Asking yourself “and then what?” can help you see all of the possible consequences when you’re struggling to make a decision — and can guide you to the smartest choice.

10. Know What Success Really Means: Despite his wealth, Warren Buffett does not measure success by dollars. In 2006, he pledged to give away almost his entire fortune to charities, primarily the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. He’s adamant about not funding monuments to himself — no Warren Buffett buildings or halls. “I know people who have a lot of money,” he says, “and they get testimonial dinners and hospital wings named after them. But the truth is that nobody in the world loves them. When you get to my age, you’ll measure your success in life by how many of the people you want to have love you, actually do love you. That’s the ultimate test of how you’ve lived your life.”

= = = = =

Now that we’re millionaires on paper, as they say, my wife and I know that our wealth and success is in our happiness, not in our possessions or social status.  I am happy blogging here in the cool air of the sunroom and my wife is happy relaxing with our cat under the fleece blanket on her lap in front of the tellie on a cold November evening.  Affluence is relative.  We are satisfied that we can afford to replace our 20-year old three-tab shingles with new “architectural” asphalt shingles before we have to pay more to repair our house from broken roof water leaks, knowing a lot of people can’t afford a home of their own or don’t live in an area secure enough to own a piece of land without large fences or border guards to protect them from intruders.

I looked in the bathroom mirror on my third day at work and saw my middle-aged father.  Not something I desired when I was younger but something I am learning to accept as part of the privilege of living into my middle age years.  In other words, “face reality as it is, not as it was or as you wish it were.

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Ever wondered…?

Scoville-scale

Ever wondered why residents of assisted living villages and nursing homes complain about food being too spicy?

I used to.

Every Sunday that we’re in town, my wife and I stop at our favourite wings restaurant (one of the “100 places to eat before you die in Alabama”) to visit with our friends Sherman, Antonio, Stephanie and other regular workers there.

Sherman sees us and orders us the same the food unless we indicate to him otherwise: basket of mild wings, onion rings and half-and-half tea for my wife, chicken tenders with the hottest habañero chili sauce, french fries and a single beer for me (sometimes Sherman brings me Shock Top, sometimes it’s Yuengling (I wish it was local microbrew but they haven’t established a relationship with local breweries, that I know of)), followed by unsweet tea the rest of the meal.

Sigh…

I love hot food.

The last few times I’ve devoured the habañero chili sauce, my mouth has salivated and my nose poured out clear liquid for hours, until 3:00 a.m. this morning, as a recent example; I automatically swallow the saliva and/or drool on my pillow once asleep, waking up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach and wet face/hand/pillow/bedsheet.

Have I failed to mention the effect of the habañero sauce as it works its way through my gullet?  Not to mention its last literal kick in the rear?

Anyway, I fear that my days of consuming millions of Scoville units in one sitting with no ill effect may have passed me by.

We’ll see.

Nothing like an endorphin rush with one’s meal.

But is it worth a night of misery afterward?

Maybe…

Well, the call of the crows in the backyard tell me it’s time to head to my first day on the job.  Wish me luck!

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